Donkey, Please
by I'msorryforwritingthisfanfic
Summary: donkey get a little craZy and ride shrek, an Eat OnIOn. I will write moar. ;))))))))))))))))))
1. silky red dresS

(my original fanfic got deleted but here is the reupload so the words are a little different.. I have risen 33666333)(donkey, please a shrek fanfic. WARNING! There is smut! ;))))))))))))))))))))

It was a typical afternoon at shrek's swamp, peaceful and smell like ONION! Fiona was out for the day which left shrek kinda sad….and lonely. Because shrek was so lonely he cut an onion in half and then put it on his nipples. Shrek let out a soft moan, then there was an unexpected knock at the door! Shrek was surprise.

"Oh! There is a visitor?" shrek said as he put his shirt back on.

Shrek got up from the couch and walked over to the door and opened it. Donkey was at the door!

"D-Donkey!" shrek said with surprise "No Donkey you have to get out of here! I am a married man!111"

Donkey didn't really give a hoot and he just ran past shrek and hopped on the couch.

"Donkey! NO! you have to get out of me swamp RITE NOW," shrek said angrally.

Donkey slipped off his silky sheer red dress.

"DONKEY! NO! I AM A maRRYED MAN!" said shrek.

DOnkeey ran over to shrek and pulled down shreks pants to reveal shreks MASSIVE BEAR COCK!

"D..donkey-chan…WAYT I AM NOT HOMO!" said shrek.

Donket didn't really give a moist turkey so he just pushed shrek on the couch and started riding.

"OH! OH DOnKEY! ZOO WEE MAMA!" said shrek.

Donkey continued to ride shreks shibbity woop diggity dong talywacker(i will NOT say the d word!)

"Ohhhh YA MMMMmmmmmMMMMMm ONion!" said shrek.

"oh! wOWZA mmmmmmmmmmmmm OH OH SO BIG!" said donkey.

Srek push off the donkey and say "I will go get onion!"

Donkey get up and suck shreks onions from behind! ;))))

"Oooooooh! DONK donk!" said shrek.

Everything is all dandy and oniony until Fiona walked in.

Fiona GASPED!

"Shrek!? What the frick frickity frack freak frack!?" said fioner

Shrek did not notice since he was getting his onions sucked. Fiona left and went to the donkeys wife's house(the dragon remember?)

Fiona open the door!

"DRAGON!" said Fiona "our husbands are cheating on us!...with each other! We need to do something!"

The dragon nods and go gets some sexy undies on. Fiona takes off her dress and jiggles her lady lumps, hte dragon also puts on a strap-on. ;) Fiona takes off her pantays and starts riding the dragon!(Ooooh gettin revenge!)

"RAWRRRRRRRR! ROAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!" said the dragon(the dragon can't talk right?)

"MMMMMMMMmmmmmMMMMMMMmmMmMmMmMmMmMm!...MMMmmm YES!" Fiona moaned.

Fiona ride the dragon for like 10 minutes until shrek and donket arrive…

"FIOna!1! YOU ONION LOVING FRICK!" said shrek.

"I regrot nothing!" said Fiona.

to be continue….


	2. slipped away

shrek cry. Then shrek take a onion out of his lederhosen, take bite, then throw at fionas onion luvin cheatin ugly face.

"OUCH MY PENIS!" fionna scream.

everyone gasp with amuse.

"ayyy man just kid." Said fionONIONLOVERa.

"ooooooooooooooh" say everyone.

"fIONNA WHY THE DING DONG WOULD YOU chat! on mE!"

FIONNA slap shrek.

"You cheat on me first."

Fionaa cry.

"Oh bae I didn't mean dat! It was donket! I swar!."

"IM GONNA dUCkING(f word is bad!) CUT OFF UR NIPPLES SHREK!"

"me and shrekipie r in love fionna, I rode his massive jimmy john wiggity wager silly willy." Say donker!

"donkey!" say tha Scottish shrek.

Fiona cry more.

"fion I sorry." Say shrek

"I will shov dis strap on up ur ass, shrek." Say the dragon?

Whoa say everyone.

"who a u can talk? Yeehaw?" said donket.

"I WILL SHOVE THIS strap ON UP SHREKS Ass AND RUPTURE HIS ANUS!" roar the dragon.

Fion cry lot.

bring me 2 life by evansence u know the wake me up song? As dramatic backround music.

"oh WAKE ME UP from dis nightmare." Say Fiona.

"im feeling very…_**homosexual**_…." Confess the donkety as he put the strap of his silky sheer red dress back on his shoulder.

"what?' say the dragon.

"me gay." Said donkey. "I like dildo in butt."

Dragon cry.

Shrek and fion gasp.

"I luv shrek….." confess d0nkey.

Shrek gasp more and put onion on nipple.

Wake me up(wke me up inside)

dragon cry.

Donkey wrap his arms around shrek.

"i love shrek" say donket.

Lord farquaad walk in wif his BIG ass head.

"no homo allowed11!" yell lord farquaad.

Every1 gasp!

to be continue…


	3. pickle martinis

(hello all my loyal fanz, welcum 2 another chapter of donkey, please this has lot of drama with lord farquaad. enjoy. thank.)

Lord farquaad take off shirt and shimmy to the gang.

"see this?" say lord farquaad "this is homo. What u are."

"GET OU OF HERE LOSER FARQUAAD!" say donket

"no! I have come here to tell u that there is NO HOMO allowed in this citay"

"please accept my onions and leave!" said shrek.

"hah no way bro im not gay" say farquaad

"no not THOSE onions" say shrek.

lord farquaad blushes.

"FARQUAAD GO SUCK A BIG DONG AND LEAVE" say Fiona.

"maybe i will!" say lord farquad.

Ever1 gasp exept lord farquaad u know?

"farquaad r u homo?" ask shrek.

"well I do love a man in leather." Say farquaad.

shrek blush as his eyes widen. donket get jealous.

"UM YA NO THIS IS MY MAN MR BIG FAT HEAD SMALL DINGALONG." donkey yell

"ACTUALLY I AM MARRIED TO SHREK YOU ONION FUCKER." fiona say

"remember when i had a crush on u fiona? lol." say lord farquaad.

"Fuck you, farquaad" said fiona.

Donkey slips off his silky sheer red dress once again, along with his lacy floral panties.

everyone gasp.

"I had a tingle tingle." say donker

"I will go get us pickle juice martinis ;)" say shrek. as he turn to walk to the kitchen it's now well known that he's wearing _**ass-less chaps**_

"how tha fuk did we have sex ur dinky doo is tiny as heck." say the dragon as she exits, and go to the bar(remember? the one with the ladyman)

shrek cum back with the martinis, and hand one to lord farquaad and donker. Shrek notice that donkety is nekkid(naked is bad word) and blushes.

fiona cry and go to the bar too. shrek sigh

"Lets get this party started ;)" say donket

wat will happen next? will shrek give in to the dong? to be continued...


	4. ass-less chaps

(haha! after a loong wait i hav another chap, lol thx enjoy. -~smut warning-)

"i need to get ready" say shrek as he squats.

"were r the anal beads and fruity loops" say donker

lord farquaad blush and take off his shirt, now revealing a strange bandage wrapped around his chest.

"um i have a confession..." said lord farquaad

"oh u can tell me anythong" say donkety ;)

"..."

lord farquaad unwrap the bandage...sumthing jiggle out

"i got..._**breast implants**_" say lord farquaad.

shrek and donk donk gasp.

"I have a confession too..." said shrek "i-i...i got my dong enlarged

donkeyt and lord farquaad gasp!

shrek pulls down his moist trousers and ass-less chaps.

"Its now a whopping 1 foot." say shrek.

"well that's alright with me ;)" say donket

Lord farquaad cannot handle this anymore, the arousal, the temptation, he starts rubbing his ROCk HARD nipples and lets out a soft moan.

shrek and donkety look at lord farquaad with a sensual look in their eyes..shrek starts jacking his foot long dong.

"i wanna stick my weiner in your mouth, such a strong jaw line," said Shrek.

Lord Farquaad bends over and smacks his own double d butt. Shrek goes over and gayly pulls down lord Farquaads pants. Revealing his flamingo pink thong, he softly touches it, as soft as silk, and pulls the sexy thong down. Shrek puts both hands on Lord Farquaads pale ass, having some regret. He thinks of the time he saved the beautiful princess Fiona from the castle, the first time he set his eyes on her eyes as blue as crystal clear waters. Her auburn hair, and determined attitude. When she gave herself to him, turning into an ogre, giving up the royal lifestyle, all for him. Shrek thinks to himself...

"HAHA LOL. FOR SCOTLAND!" SHREK JABS HIS FOOT LONG DONG INTO LORD FARQUAADS ANAL REGION. NO LUBE.

"OH MY ANUS! THAT IS ONE GIANT DIBBLY DOO DONGITY" say lord farquaad.

shrekk thrust lots. Fiona still on his mind.

"STOP" say donkety

shrek releases his donger and say "WAT"

Donkeyt get behind shrek.

"Train," say donkeyy. Donkey shoves his memeber in shreks bum bum.

"uhuHUHUHUHuhuHuHuhUhUhUhUHuHuHuHuhuhhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" say shrek as he renters Lord farquaad

they all continue this train for like 20 minutes...until it becomes a _trainwreck_. shrek falls to the ground from exhaustion.

"zoo wee mama" say shrek.

"omg im not homo." say lord farquaad. he cry.

"u r now. *eddie murphy laugh*" say donk donk.

-i miss u/slipped away by avril lavigne play as dramatic music. play it lol.-

Shrek cry.

Donkey cuddles shrek.

"wats wrong, hunny boo." say donket

" I cant just let fiona _**slip away**_" say shrek

to continue...


	5. big bad wulf

(welcum back to donkey, plz. here a good chap its gonna be sexy fun)

~~~~~~~~back at the bar~~~~~

At the bar is dragon and fiona, they both cry. The bar is calm and quiet except for prince charming playing his sax omg why.

"why would that HO HO donkey steal me man?" said fiona as cried.

"uh wow fiona you are too good for him, right? roars the dragon.

"ya ur right" say fiona as she nods. im gonna get so turnt up!"

"ya lets do it u sexy beast!" says prince charming he cum out of nowhere.

"oh my god prince charming go away, you have aids!" said fiona angrally!

The big bad wolf gives prince charming a smug look and does that hamo gay pssssh thing.

"Fiona my love! "

Prince charming saxes it out.

"Man I can't resist a man with a sax!" fiona bites her lip! "wait...no prince charming go away you're gay"

"but fiona im head over heels for you!" said prince charming.!

"ew nobody can be that flexible get a life omg!"

The Big bad wolf GAYLY walks over to fiona and prince charming.

"Prince charming you better back the fuck off before I lactate the hell outta those nips" sayy the wolf as he snaps.

"NO FURRIES ALLOWED!" says the man lady bar person.

"Oh honey," say the wolf as he bends over(dong wiggling) "furries get the party started" the wolf shakes it(you kno!)

Neon lights flash and 'Get out of my swamp by Tom m.c. and Shrek ft. Shrek' plays and people dance.

Dragon, Prince charming, and Fiona gasp! the man lady bar tender is surprise!

"Fiona lets get buck wild," said the Dragon.

"Oh this is my jelly jam. Shrek is so stern," say fiona as she chug some sexy vodka, "this is..._**SHREKTACULAR**_"

"Get ogre here sexy boy!" says the hamo wolf.

Prince Charming hops over to the wolf with moist...SOGGY pants. prince charming and the wolf grind!

"Oh my!" say prince charming. " I feel alive and free and moist!"

The wolf twerks on prince charming's dong area.

"oh my i am aroused! said prince charming.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP

Prince charming stops grinding and scoops the furry wolfs butt. The wolf stops grinding and turns to charming.

"Your nips r shrektastic. Let's do it..._**anal style**_" say the wolf.

Charming blush...it appears that hes already naked.

"right here right now._**anal style**_, yes." says charming.

Charming bends over.

"_**no lube**_" say Charming.

The wolf gasp! Then stick his ERECTING shibbity do wop wop dogitty cuckity doo shabba labba ding dong in charming _**anal style**_.

"Whoa that is interesting anal! SO DRY" say Charming

And boy was she right it was as dry as the Sahara desert. this last like 1 minute.

"Wow that was steaming" say charming

"ya i love _**anal style**_" say the wolf

"Wow prince charming u hit on me then be hamo?" fiona cry " why is everyone gey!"

"Fion a nOOOOOOO! I like u!" say charming

Fiona slap charming!

Prince charmings mother comes into the bar!

"WAT IS ALL OF THIS!" she say!

The music is turned off and everyone gasps! Charmings mother flys over to fiona(like a lil bich lol).

"WHY WONT U LOVE MY SON YOU FOOL!"

"because...I still love shrek..."

wow that is intense! to be continue...


	6. mmm whatcha say

(here a nother chapter already! there will be drama!)

~~~~~~back with shrek, donkey, and fukquaad~~~~~~

"forget about fiona, shrek." says donkery as he grabs ahold of shreks soft penis.

But Shrek couldn't get Fiona out of his head. She was his wife, donkey sang that whole song at his wedding. They were bros...until donker came to his swamp with his silky...sheer red dress. Shrek never thought Donkeyy would ever have intentions like that! This room is just full of regret...a trainwreck

"I can't be homo!," said Farquaad as he cries.

"Oh girl, by the look of your trimmed eyebrows and frilly suit and think everyone knows that you like dong," said Donkety.

"is it because im a 4 incher," said Farquaad

~~~~~~~~~back at the bar~~~~~~~~~~

"I love shrek! i wont be with your son! hes gey!" said fiona.

"My son? Gay!? Pffft! No homo is allowed around here, Lord Furquaad said," Charming's mother said.

"well your son just had anal style with that wolf!"

Charming's mother gasped with disbelief. Charming was so turned on just hearing about anal style that he grabbed the head of his dong and started jacking(just the tip)

"Gasp! Charming! This is so inappropriate and homo! hamo is sin!" says charmings mother as she flies the heck outta there. Fiona also leaves to see the cheating ogre shrek with some...intentions.

~~~~~back with shrek~~~~~~~~~~

Fiona storms into the place . With her sharp grown pinky nail out. Everyone gasp!

"When in doubt, pinky out"say fiona.

"I'm not homo! Just a little bit of a train ride I swear! And-"

Before Farquaad can say anymore Fiona cuts his dong in half! From a 4 incher to a 2 incher.

Everyone gasp!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY MASSIVE DONG!" Farquaad screeches.

Mmmmm whatcha say? Mmm that you only meant well? Well of course you did. Mmm whatcha say? (Whatcha say whatcha say) Mmm that it's all for the best? Of course it is.

Farquaad slowly falls to the floor. Farquaad takes a breath and looks directly looks at Fiona.

"When in doubt jack it out," says Farquaad as he whips his hand out.

Fiona gasps and stares at his hand in shock.

"No!" Fiona screams.

Lord Farquaad lands his hand on his blood erecting member and jacks off like there's no tomorrow! Goes so hard that the friction smokes up his dong. And little did Fiona know Farquaad was blessed with a healing hand! Lord Farquaads dong may not be as long but it fits in his thong, it magically got restored.

Mmm whatcha say? Mmm that you only meant well? Well of course you did. Mmm whatcha say? (Whatcha say? Whatcha say?) Wh-wh-wh-what did she say?

"Oh my, it's microscopic!" said Fiona.

"That won't fit in my mouth," said donkr.

"Its smaller than a strip of onion layer!" say the scottish yodel shrek.

How could I live with myself. Knowing that I let our love go? And ooh, what I'd do for one chance. I just gotta let you know.

"FiON!" shout shrek! " I love u!"

"Oh honey u got the wrong idea shrek is mine, we do anal together!" donkey say

"I have a sudden urge too...too...listen to my chemical romance," say farquaad.

everyone gasp!

to be continue...


	7. hamo destroyer

(rolf lmao welcum back 2 donkr, please... this will be good chap. enjoy and jack(off)

"mcr?" say shrek, "that is a gay emo band for fgts"

"im not okay, sork..." say lord fukwruaad.

"well you better be okay with doing anal style," say donket

"donky! this is serious!" say shrok

Lord fukquaad cri a bit.

"why are cry?" say shrek.

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND SHORK!" say lord farquaad.

every1 gasp!

"I AM NOT HAMO!" say lord farquaad, " THAT IS VERY A SIN!"

The big bad wolf walks in.

"Oh honey, you gots it all wrong," say the big bad wolf "homo is not a sin, it is in."

every1 gasp!

"Hey crazy kids, meow," say wulf "fiona why did u leave the party?"

"i had to cut lord fukquaads wanggy"

The BIG BAD wolf moans.

"Uhhhnnnggg. just talking about wanggys makes me salami nopples hard and moist," say wulf

"thats gay" say everyone

"whutever! i will destroy all homos!," say lord farquaad " i will make an army of hamo destroyers! bye nerds, im gonna go listen to fall out boy." say lord fukquaad.

Lord farquaad leaves.

Donket cries salty tears.

"oh shek, i should of got out of your swamp!," say donkr

Shrek was shocked. Although this relationship with donkety wasn't supposed to happen he still felt hurt when this words came out of donkrs mouth.

"donkr. I'm glab you came into my swamp," say shrek.

Shrek cry.

"i will scratch your dong in half too, shrk." say fiona!

Shrek looks away in confusion. He doesn't kknow how to feel! He doesn't know if he wants to live the homo life or not...becuz that is a siN!

"fiona! i...i..." say sork

donket punches fiona across her onion loving face!

everyone gasp!

"Oh honey! Yous be acting liek a little bitch. Why don't you go suck a large onion! Oh wait that probably wouldn't fit in your mouth cause u never give large blow j to shek like i do!" say donket

everyone gasp again!

"Wow ur sassy let's have saxx(the reel word is bad! a sin!)" say the big bad wolf

"Oh my lord farquaad! you ARE ALL SUPER GAAY! THAT IS VERY SIN! AGAINST FARQUAADS RULES! HE WILL CUM HERE AND SLAY YOU ALL!" say fion! "hah bye losers im going to go join lord faukquaads hamo destroying army"

Fiona leaves.

Shrek cry.

"babe why do you cry? forget fiona she blows hard dongger." say donky

"What is this donkey...why...that day you came to my swamp wearing that dazzling _**silky...SHEER red dress**_ and you rode my massive bear wangy and suck my onion. no lube. why? this is all a mess cause of that day." say shrek.

Donkey kisses shreks soft pale forest green lips. Shrek gasps.

"Shrek." said donkr as he grabbed shrek's large greasy hand. "I love you."

"D-donket-chan..." said the aroused ogre as his massive 1 footer rised.

"s-sherk...i...i...i im pregnont!" say the anxious donkey.

shrek gasp!

to be continue...


	8. micheal jackson

(hi! srry for tha long wait my mom found my fanfic and took away my computer! so she starved me! and only let me drink holy water becuz of all the sin i committed. anyways...enjoy!)

"d-d-d-d—d-onker!" say the worried ogre.

"you're gonna be a father, shrek! *eddie murphy laugh*" say donket

The gingerbread man enters the room and appears to be wearing something...interesting.

"SHREK! DONKETA!" yell the dashing gingerbread man.

"g..g...GING!" gasp shrek, "what are you doing here!?"

It is now revealed that the gingerbread man is wearing a dazzling low-cut SPARKLING flowing periwinkle dress.

"Oh...OH SORK! I need...I need...A _**HERO**_!" say gingerbread man.

"Wow okay you better back the heck off of my man shek with ur tiny gumdrop dong," said the jealous donket.

"d...donker-chan..nevermind! gingerbread man what is the matter?" says the concerned shrek as he gets on his knee and squeezes the gingerbread man's only exposed gumdrop.

The gingerbread man looks slightly offended by donkets comment but let's it slide because he has something more important to discuss.

"psh...wow...your voice is so soothing, shrek.." says the slightly moist gingerbread man.

Shrek blush and donker does the hamo gay(sorry so sinful) psh thing.

"But, shrek! Lord Farquaad is set to destroy all hamos!"

shrek and donket gasp!

Shrek blush.

"B-but...ginger...how did you know?" say shek.

"Shrek I think everyone can tell that you're gay homo..." ginger blush "well considering you wear those leathery _**ass-less chaps**_."

"But...I...I can't be hhamo! I am a married man!"

Unexpectedly pinocchio hurries in the room wearing only a thong...silky lavender...

"pintocchio? what are you doing here?" says shrek

"S-SHREK! Haha oh boy(is that what pinochhio would say? lel.) lord farquaad! he is going after all hamos!" says the terrified puppet as he sheds a tear.

Shrek looks worried...but blushes...lavender is the ogres' favorite color. Srek is loosing hope...scared that Lord farquaad will cum after him and his homo gay friends.

"sorry to interrupt this moment y'all *eddie murphy laugh*" says donkr "but where's ur dong?"

Pintocchio gasps.

"well...my nose IS MY DONG!"

Every1 gasp!

"donket! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG!" says the angry ogre.

"whats the matter sugar daddy?" says donkr.

"Donkeet! we have more important matters to discuss!"

~~~~~***~*~*~*mad world by gary jules plays**~~~~*~**~*~*~*~~*

Everyone gets silent, shrek, donket, ginger, pinto, wolf, sadness...

All around me are familiar faces...worn out places, worn out faces. bright and early for their daily races

going nowhere, going nowhere.

The wolf gasps!

"I heard something outside!" says the worried wolf. "Quick! every1 hide in my anus!"

"I don't think we can all fit in there ladeh," says shek.

"no let's hide in pintoccios bum bum, it's probably large ;)" says donkr!

"well, as you can tell, i am a puppet"

"NO TIME FOR DILLY DALLYING YA WANKS WE GONNA GO HIDE!" says shrek.

The gang scurries around the castle looking for a place 2 hide.

"Oh we can hide in here!" says donkee.

Donk donk walks over to a closet. He continues to open it and den his buttplug collection flows out of the confined closet.

"oh haha u can just ignore these," says donket.

"oh ya ok i'll ignore THE OCEAN OF BUTTPLUGS THAT JUST CAME OUT OF THAT CLOSET YA TWAT," says sork.

"rnt they glorious, there's 1,000...wait WERE IS MY LIMITED EDITION MICHAEL JACKSON BUTPLUG!111111"

"well i hope you don't mind tht i borrowed one ;;;;;;)))))" says the bad wolf as he pulls out a 6 inch diamond incrusted buttplug."

"quick everyone in the closet!11111" says the green shrek.

shek pushes everyone in the closet and closes the door. a tight squeeze. ;))) (im srry mom)

"ok! every1 shush!" say shrek.

The gang keeps quiet as they listen to farquaad and his hamo destroying army look around the place.

Farquaad walks around the place with his heels clacking on the floor and his bobbers jiggling. It wasn't long before he found everyone. Farquaad swings open the closet door.

"aha! I have found you sinners!"

Shrek loses his balance and falls over! and his dong falls out!

"WhhhoAh!" says shrek.

Lord farquaad is surprised and blush a bit.

"G-guards! take them away!" say farquaad

One of the guards snaps his gum then bites his lip and puts his hand on his hip.

"*in hamo voice* alright boss" says the guard as he walks over to them lik he on a catwalk lol. (the two guards are shirtless and wear lord farquaad hats and red panties and white go go boots)

Farquaad and the guards hand cuff every1.

"how did you find us?!" say donkr.

"seriously? i mean look at all these buttplugs...a glorious collection...*coughs* ahem! it wuz pretty obvious!" say farquaad. "now it's time to go to HAMO PRISON!"

Every1 gasp!

to be continu...


	9. hamo bus

(they try to make me go to church camp but i say no no no. hello everyone it's been way too long! so sorry for long wait my mmom keep on tellin me that i am a sinner! i tell her NO shrek is the purest. and she try to take away me onion but that will not happen!)

lord farquaad leads the gang to his hamo prison bus, it's red(like donkets dress) covered in fabulous shimmering sparkles and says 'hamo prison bus!' in bright flamingo pink lettering.

"Alright all you sinners! hop on the bus." said lord farquaad.

Donket was brave, he boarded the bus first, he hopped up the 3 shimmering stairs and looks to his left...and there was rumplestiltskin! wearing a glittery gold thong and tassles that flow oh so gracefully off his erecting nipples. there he was sitting in the back row looking out the window...WITH REGRET! IN HIS EYE!11 Donkr paused. and looked at rumplestilitskin, their eyes met. rumple gasped! and then looked away with a shameful look as he was ashamed of all the sin he has committed...

"r-rumpy..." say donket quietly.

Shrek was getting impatient so he pushed donkr out of the way and get on the bus and gasp!

"RUmPLEFORESKIN is THAT YOU?" say shrek with surprise.

rumple doesn't say anything...he just twiddles his nipple tassle.

"sh...shrek..." says a soft voice in the second row. a head peeks over the seat.

"arthur?!" say shrek.

Oh boy was he right. there was arthur pendragon wearing a very _**sheer**_ and _**lacy**_ pair of bikini panties they were a pale pink color, but arthur managed to keep it classy. he was also wearing a royal cape, and black bondage all over his body and one single gem on each of his nipples.

Shrek and donkr sigh...

"hey what's the hold up here?" say lord farquuad as he pokes shrek in the butt with his golden cane.

"oi laddeh go easy on my behind it's still... sore. ;)" say shrek.

Lord fukquaad BLUSHES!

"just sit down you slutty wang sucker!" say fukwaad.

"ya, hay boss we gotta go soon it's almost chow time for them sinful inmates," says one of the guards.

The gang doesn't resist... shrek n donkr sit next to each other in a middle row, and ginger sits on top of shrek's raging whale erection. wolf and pinocchio sit in the seat next to shrek and donkey _**so they can feel the warmth of their . **_two of the guards sit behind shrek and the gang to make sure they don't commit any _**homosexual**_ acts. Farquaad hops into the drivers seat.

"Alright boys" says the last guard as he puts his hand on his hip, " it's time to go to hamo prison! And if you didn't already know my name is Nicholas but you can call me nicki. make sure that you're all sitting there tight, this is gonna be a bumpy ride! ;))" said the guard as he sat in the first row.

After the guard sits down farquaad starts up the engine and starts driving. this truly will be one heck of a _**ride.**_ ;)

to be continue...


	10. mike's hard lemonade

(this is my 10th chapter wooo(xxtra smut for my 10th chapter celebration) i hope u r all ok with oc's because i am very proud of nicki the hamo destroying guard! and a little bit of a crossover ;) but wow I am cheap i nede to make longer chapters! so y'all can jak moar if u know what i mean. ;))(dis one will be dirty! so make sure to cleanse yourself with holy water and onion after reading)

"oh boy yeehah all this sure glad this is a _bumpy ride_, cause all this vibration really TURNS ME ON" said donkr.

"d...donkr..." said sherk as his dongerr rises more, even though shreks massive wang is constantly in erection. it grew.

"aha oh boy." said ginger, he was sitting on shreks ding dong area so he was surprised when he rose a bit. ;))))))))

Sherk, donkety, and ginger laugh.

Lord farquaad hears the chuckles happening from those seats in the middle row so he glances into his front view mirror. and oh, what does he see? he sees shreks GORGEOUS smoky auburn eyes just staring into his poor weak soul, making him WEAK and his nipples HARD.

"hey! no laughing you schlong sucking, sausages!" yelled farquaad.

Farquaad gulped. he was feeling just a strong attraction towards shrek. farquaad tears up. either he's in love with shrek, or his nipple clamps are too tight...

"Oh boy i am getting very hungry, lads. i crave some layers if you know what i mean." said shrek

"yeah me too...HUNGRY FOR A LITTLE BIT OF MEAT! if you know WHAT I MEAN! ;)" said donkr.

"how repulsive! guards, spray em!"

the three guards rise from their seats and spray everyone with a strange liquid! every1 coughs.

"laddeh! what is this that you've sprayed on us?" said shrek.

"it's a homo toner! to tone down the homo! made of pure things! like holy water, my jaw sweat, and nipple extract!" said farquaad.

Shreks erect jimmy john lowered, along with ginger.

"Ha! now you all can't be hamo! this is going to be a quiet ride to HAMO PRISON!"

And boy was farquaad right, it was a quiet ride to hamo prison. no gay sinful acts were committed on the way there.

Then finally they arrived. farquaad drove to the entrance and stopped the hamo bus.

"alright you tity nipple pinching sinners! we have arrived to the prison where you will be miserable!" said farquaad.

Farquaad opened the bus door and stood up but unexpectedly his pants fell down and...his vibrator slipped out of his anal hole!(i'm sorry this is really sinful)

Every1 gasp!

"um! that was there for medical reasons! am not hamo!" said farquaad as his pulled his pants back up.

But was it REALLY?

"guards! escort the prisoners inside!" said the now embarrassed farquaad.

The prisoners stood up and followed the guards into the prison without any resistance.

"oh? are these the hamo sinners you we're talking about, farquaad?" said a mystery man.

The prisoners gasp! this mystery man just happens to be...

"juni CORTEZ?(spy kids)" said shrek.

"haha yes it's me" juni replied.

Juni was wearing a police officer outfit that was a little too tight for him. ;)))) and was super tight around his GROIN . with a badge that said 'hamo prison officer'.

"enough with the chatting! it is time to lock all of you hamo fools up! but first..." said farquaad as he glanced into shrek's dashing golden eyes "we're gonna need to get rid of any gay gadgetry you sick sinners carry on you. juni, guards, search them."

"line up everybody," said officer juni.

And how could everyone resist such a man, a man with _**curls**_, the prisoners lined up ready to get a pat down ;)))) the guards took the handcuffs off of everyone.

"great. so, mr. pendragon we'll start with you."

"OH i'll take care of this one ;)))" said nicki(my oc)

arthur firmly lifts his arms.

"you can search me, guard. you'll find nothing." arthur says confidently.

"hmm alright" said the guard as he patted him down.

arthur let out a SOFT moan but there was nothing to be found on him.

The guard hummed quietly as he locked his eyes onto arthur's chest. he flicked one of the gems off arthur to reveal HIS MASSIVE SALAMI SIZED NIPPLE!

"well, the cat's outta the bag," said arthur as he took the other gem off as well.

The guard is pretty speechless, he has never SEEN such LARGE nipples!

"this isn't even the biggest they can get! if you give them a few taps they reach maximum baloney ;)" said the now slightly moist arthur.

The guard is tempted by arthur's offer. he bites his lip as he tries to hide his now ERECTED shaft.

"i'm sorry arthur but i will not give in to any of your hamo sinful things! farquaad is my lord and ruler!" said nicki loudly and obviously as farquaad smirked.

Arthur lowers his arms and squeezes his nipple to relieve some of his stress. Nicki goes to the next person...which is wolf. ;))))

"okay furry let's see here..."

Nicki did the pat down on wolf but there was nothing to be found...

"alright. we'll just have to see if there's anything in here!" said the guard as he pulled down wolf's thong by surprise!

Everyone gasped!. but the big bad wolf seemed to be alright with it. ;)

"okay we'll just check in here" he said as he reached for the wolf's anus. "you know, for safety reasons"

Nicki pulled out a luxury buttplug with a charming gemstone made from only the finest indian sapphire. but oh he didn't stop there.

"well let's see if there's anything else in here..."

This man clenched his hand into a fist AND SHOVED IT STRAIGHT UP THIS BIG BAD WOLF'S TIGHT THROBBING PASSAGE WITH ABSOLUTELY NO LUBE GOING IN COMEPLETELY DRY AS THE SAHARAH DESERT AND NOT A SINGLE SHREIK CAME OUT OF THE WOLFS SNOUT AS HE HAD NO TIME BECAUSE BEFORE HE KNEW IT THIS MANS FOREARM WAS ALREADY UP HIS RECTAL OPENING, NICHOLAS TICKLED THIS WOLFS DARK RECTUM AND OH BOY THIS ALSO TRIGGERED HIS PROSTATE, HIS LOVE SPOT WHICH CAME WITH A NASTY ORGASM BUT NO THIS CAN'T HAPPEN HERE NO NO NO NOT NOW, THEY WERE BEING MONITORED BY FARQUAAD! HE SIMPLY CANNOT KNOW THAT THIS HAMO DESTROYING GUARD SHOVED HIS FOREARM UP THIS FURRY'S CLENCHED BUTTHOLE! NICHOLAS QUICKLY GRABBED THIS WOLFS SNOUT TO TRY AND CONTAIN HIS AROUSAL. THIS REGRETFUL GUARD HAD TO QUICKLY REMOVE HIS ARM FROM THIS FOREIGN REGION LEAVING THE WOLF WITH A GAPING HOLE THE SIZE OF ONE VERY LARGE ONION.

"oh ya he's clean ;))), well except for this buttplug!"!1

"how sick...such a lovely plug though...BUT SICK!" said farquaad as he took the plug from nicki's hand and put it into a sin box that will be stored away.

Next in line is the voluptuous shrek who knew what was cumming so he lifted those arms ready for the pat down. Nicki quickly patted down sherk with nothing to be found but his hot ass ;)))))))))))))

"ya we're going to need to get you sum pants because these _**ass-less chaps**_ are unacceptable," said nicki.

"but laddeh these make my hot cakes look even hotter ;)" shrek said seductively and scottish.

"all of these disgusting silky...sheer...lacy...*gulp* thongs are unacceptable! so afterwards we're going to give all of you inmates appropriate clothing," said fukwaad.

Next in line was donket and his silky sheer red dress...

"no yuo can't search me i am pregnont!" donkr exclaimed.

Every1 gasp!(but shrok cuz he already knew)

"that's a ridiculous statement! babies cannot cum out anally!" farquaad argued.

Just saying anally made the inmates ver y moisst!(very sin am srry) ;)))))

"so shut your weeny sucking mouth and let my guard search you!"

Donkr couldn't refuse so he lifted his hooves and let nicki search felt he had to search donkrs rectum so he lifted the dress and pulled the thong down and! he pulled out a 2 gallon bottle of onion flavored lube!

every1 gasp!

"hehehehe just in case if u know what i mean, "say donket

"how obsurd!" said farquaad as he was trying to conceal his 2 inch erection.

Nicki was still curious so he lifted his dress even higher and there were nipple clamps!

"i can't feel my nippls haha" say donkr

Farquaad ripped those nipple clamps of donker and the aroused furry let out a LOUD moan!.

"oooOOOOOOOohhhHMMMMMMYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" donkr moaned.

Arthur got so arroused that his salami nippls went full baloney and everyone's eyes widened.

"um...*blush* YEAH! i'll be taking these!1111111" said the FULLY AROUSED farqwaad as he put the clamps and lube in the sin box.

Farquaad went back to stand next to juni as nicki continued his work. next in line was pintochio wearing his silky lavender thong, nicki quickly searched pinto with nothing to be found...but his nose grew ;)))) (which is his dong!)

"haha oh boy," said pinocchio.

Next in line was ginger wearing his dazzling low-cut sparkly flowing periwinkle dress. nicki grabbed ginger and lifted his dress only to reveal his tiny gumdrop dong ;))

"! wow how embarrassing! ;)" said ginger.

Nicki put ginger down and went to the last person...rumplestiltskin wearing a glittery gold thong and nipple tassles. out of everyone rumple looked the most ashamed of his sinful actions. nicki had to get on his knees ;) because rumple was so short!(like his dong lol) nicki removed the tassles and handed then to farquaad. RUMPLE MOANED! but it was only a quiet beg for a good jakin on his dong. nicki patted him down but there was nothing to be found but an aroused man.

"alright we're all done with the pat downs ;)" said nicki.

"you sick sick fools! you see this box full of all your sins? HUH? YEAH? we're going to burn it all!" farquaad growled.

"wow i really wanna stick my dong in juni's soft curls," wolf whispered to shrek.

"WHAT WAS THAT!? WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?" farquaad screamed.(he was so sick of the hamoness)

Juni blushed. farquaad handed the sin box to juni then rushed over to wolf and grabbed him by his fur and pulled him CLOSE.

"I will NOT tolerate ANYYYYY hamo comments about myself nor juni! WE ARE BOTH VERY STRAIGHT MEN STRAIGHTER THEN THE ARTIFICAL WANGS YOU SINNERS STICK UP YOUR ANAL HOLES! you got that?"

Wolf bit fukwaads colossal jaw as a response.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH! HE'S INFECTING ME WITH HIS HOMOSEXUAL POISON GET HIM OFF!" farquaad screeched.

Farquaads three guards pulled off the wolf.

"put a muzzle on it!" farquaad insisted.

"NO! how am i supposed to give lickings to dong-"

But before the wolf could say anymore his snout was constrained with a muzzle.

The inmates gasped!

"aha! good thing we were prepared for a moment like this you sick hamo fool!" said farquaad.

Although his snout is constrained, wolf has never been so ERECT. he was so erect that his little meat stick RIPPED his thong!1

every1 gasp! farquaad screeched!

"constrain it!" fukwaad exclaimed.

But they were not prepared for a situation like this so juni acted quickly and RIPPED OFF HIS SEXY OFFICER SHIRT TO REVEAL HIS SIX PACK ABS AS HARD AS STONE AND HIS SOFT POINTY NIPPLES

"i got this," juni said conifdently.

Juni RUSHED OVER TO THE SCENE AND MILKED HIS LITTLE TITY NIPPLES ALL OVER THE ERECTED SHAFT, THE LIQUIDS WERE EVERYWHERE(which by the way is 99.9% holy water because juni is god) EVERYONE WAS IN SHOCK JUNI'S ABS WERE SO HARD AND MESMORIZING THEY BEDAZZLED EVERYONE'S MIND. but it was no shock that juni's nipple milk was effective, the wolfs erection was slowly falling. oh how pure juni is. everyone was surprised by juni's amazing abilities. surprised and MOIST. since the risen dong was put to rest juni's work was done so he sadly put his shirt back on and covered his erected pecks...

"that was very uncalled for! now you are even more hamo and naked!" say farquaad. "we have to make sure this doesn't happen again."

Farquaad pulled out a red roll of duck tape from his bra and tapped the wolf's pelvic region.

"this is red and red is a pure and holy color! now that this is done it's time to give all of you your prison outfits. guards."

One of the guards put a box in front of the gang full of typical prison jumpsuits, but with a twist ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) they are red and TIGHT SKIN TIGHT on the leg and dong area so tight that you have to clench your butt cheeks just to squeeze in it. but the top part is a flowing short sleeve and sheer all over so you can kinda see THE NOPPLES! and on the back it says HAMO PRISON! in thick gold lettering. and another guard put down a box of tighty whiteys because thong are unacceptable.

"alright remove what clothing you have left and put on these outfits designed by me!" said farquaad.

Everyone removed their clothes in normal way no hamoness because everyone was scared of wat fukwwad would do them! there was a size for everyone even little ginger, everyone put on their jumpsuit the same way. left leg in, right leg in, CLENCH BUTT CHEEKS, put arms in, button up, RELEASE BUTT CHEEKS.

"luv the way this squeezes me dong into a small space ;)" say wolf.

Farquaad blush.

"w..wolf…! time to lock all of you up," said farquaad.

Farquaad, juni, and the guards led the group through the door into the room with the cells.

"well! here we are, there will be nO room sharing so you sinners won't commit any hamosexual crime." Said fukwaad.

There wwas already a couple of people in cells! there is merlin, puss in boots and! THE MUFFIN MAN!

The gang gasps!

"puss in boots! Is that you?" shrek say

"aloha me amigos yes it is i," said puss.

puss is wearing this ( . ) but with his boots of course u dumbass lol.

"m….muffin man!" said ginger.

the muffin man is wearing a regular black thong and a neon pink tutu and muffin shaped stickers on his nipples.

"ging!" said muffin man.

"merlin!" said arthur.

merlin is wearing this ( s/qtlbpn31r2xw7wr/sexi% )

"alright alright enough with the GAY! conversation," farquaad interrupted.

"psh WOW! Why do they get to wear what they want?" said wolf.

"oh um…well we had to quickly drop them off and then pick up you FOOLS!" said farquaad.

"mmm alright boss we'll lock em up then give the rest of the inmates jumpsuits," said nicki.

"ok I trust you nicholas. me and juni are going to the break room now to have a little drink. Come on, juni." said fukkwaad.

Nicki and the guards handle the inmates while farquaad nd juni go into the break room ;))))))))))))))))

"you can sit down juni I'll get us drinks ;)" said fukerwad

Juni sat down and farquaad went to the mini fridge and got two bottles of mike's hard lemonade and set them on the table, then he popped those bottles open and joined juni. Juni and farquaad both took a sip.

"MMmMMMmMmMmM this lemonade sure is HARD! ;)" said farquaad. "hmmmheyahahhahaha"

"haha yes it sure is strong," said juni as he took a comb out of his pocket and brushed his luscious curls.

Farquaad is now VERY turned on. juni's curls in action always churns farquaads butter. farquaad choked on his lemonade because he didn't even think of swallowing.

"oh are you okay?" said juni.

"oh oh ya! HAHA!" said farquaad as he bit his lip.

Farquaad's 2 inch meat stick has now risen.

"um I have to go to the bathroom I'll be right back!" said farquaad.

Farquaad rushed over to the bathroom to…"take care of business" ;))))))))))))

Juni took sip of his lemonade and as he set it down an unknown man put his hand over juni's mouth!

"ay dawg imma just slip this in here, and you better not say anything or else I will shave your curls off!" said the man

Juni nodded and the man took his hand off of juni. Juni got a good look at the man…

"s…SNOOP DOGG! the hamo assassin? w-what are you doing here?" said juni.

"well I suspect that lord farquaad is indeed hamo!" snoop replied.

"what? That can't be! farquaad is a HAMO DESTROYER!"

Snoop took a little baggy out of his pocket.

"just a little hamo truth powder won't hurt him," said snoop as he poured it in farquaads drink.

Juni gasp.

"now you better not say ANYTHING or else your curls will be shaved : )"

Snoop went and hid behind a potted plant just as farquaad came out of the bathroom.

"wow! I sure am thirsty! i was peeing for so long HAHA!" said farquaad as he sat down.

Farquaad then took a sip of his hard lemonade.

"w…wow! my drink tastes a little funny!" said farquaad.

to be continue….


End file.
